


Your sky

by demon_dean



Category: British Actor RPF, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Thor (Movies) RPF
Genre: Angst, Frostpuding, M/M, Slash, Tomki, alternative universes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-11 05:00:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demon_dean/pseuds/demon_dean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>„He's just evil, from the front!“ Thomas spat out into the microphone so everyone could hear the statement and the man continued in a changed tone of voice, words dripping with sarcasm „Thanks for the sympathy. Just worked three films to you know...like integrated a psychology and all I get is 'He's just evil'. Great.“</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Loki finds an alternative Midgard, where the avengers are nothing but a movie and an actor called Tom Hiddleston is willing to protect him from the cruel words even if he believes the norse good to be just an imaginary character.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prove the cynics wrong

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, all mistakes are mine, un-beta'd.

The weather in this part of Midgard, Australia as he recalled, was particularly unpleasant for Loki, the heat stifling and heavy. He was already wondering why he had even bothered to come, knowing he would not like it here.

 _Oh yes, that was right. The mortal._ Loki wanted to laugh at himself for how pathetic and narcissistic it really was to look up the man who wore his face and portrayed him in those moving pictures midgardians called films.

He shouldn't be here. He really shouldn't. But ever after that small glimpse he had had of him, when accidentally ending up in this weird parallel level of Midgard during his fall, Loki had been been fascinated with the man named Thomas Hiddleston.

So here he was, standing in the middle of a melting asphalt street, frowning at the big house in front of him where he knew the actor will be giving his interview. The prince of Asgard had a distaste for crowds and he knew there would be one in there for sure, gathered up to see what this mortal had to say, but still he couldn't ignore his curiosity. 

He told himself he may not like the room stuffed full of people but he for sure would love the chaos and mischief he could cause in there. So he smirked and vanished, materializing back inside sitting high up under the ceiling on a metal lane. He had the perfect overview of the stage from there without the threat of somebody accidentally bumping into his invisible form. 

Thomas and the interviewer came up on the stage and Loki had to frown a bit, because he had somehow assumed that the other man would be lot like him off-screen as well but that turned out not to be the case at all. 

First of all there was the way he looked – short, blonde and restrained but still unmistakably curly hair a stark contrast to Loki's straight black strands, Thomas's eyes were also not the shade of deep green Loki was used to seeing in the mirror but rather blue like the sea, with hints of green.

His voice was smooth, thick with British accent and he overall seemed much more relaxed, humble and kinder than in the moving pictures that had caught the god's eye would have had him believe, he was constantly smiling and obviously very passionate and expressive about his work. 

Loki just sat there for a while, his eyes fixed on the man, cataloging away the differences and wondering how he could have pulled off the dramatic transformation from this charming gentleman to the bitter and harsh young god. He shook his head. He really had no business in here. He had thought it would be a bit of a fun to meet another being who had walked in his shoes, somebody who was so much like him. But sitting here he understood Thomas was just another foolish mortal with his bright smiles and endless optimism. He couldn't possibly understand Loki or treat him as anything other than an evil monster. 

He really should get going, he told himself, hearing Thomas and the interviewer start discussing his “character” in the films and Loki's personality trades. The god of mischief didn't really need to hear how disgusted the man must have been to play a treacherous bastard like him, willing to kill his whole race to prove his worth. 

He was about to teleport out of there and find the hidden passageway to Yggdrasil when he was caught by the change of atmosphere in the hall. 

„He's just evil!“ First a female voice cried out from the lane closest to the stage.

„What was that? He's just evil?“ Thomas repeated and then paused for a moment before Loki saw a whole new emotion flash across the actors eyes and face, his features instantly hardening and mouth setting into a tight line. No, the actor was not agreeing to what was being said as Loki had expected he would, he rather seemed irritated or even angry at the words. 

„He's just evil, from the front!“ Thomas spat out into the microphone so everyone could hear the statement and the man continued in a changed tone of voice, words dripping with sarcasm „Thanks for the sympathy. Just worked three films to you know...like integrated a psychology and all I get is 'He's just evil'. Great.“

Thomas's seemed genuinely annoyed by the words and protective and that surprised Loki. He just kept staring at the man as he explained long and detailed how interesting character he found the god of mischief to be and what sort of influences he must had had in his life to end up the way he was. The worst of all was that feeling in Loki, like this puny mortal could just slice him open and inspect all the parts of him, even those he preferred to keep hidden away. It seemed like he was somehow able to see inside his head and worse so – making more sense of what he saw than the Æsir himself. 

„I love him, I see his pain,” Thomas said as a conclusion to his speech and the god could barely believe what was happening. He wanted to punch the man, shake him by the shoulders and make him see Loki was not somebody to be loved. He was chaos and destruction. He brought pain to others and destroyed everything in his path. 

“I will make him see,” he murmured to himself, full of determination. “I will show him the real Loki and he too shall cower before me and fear.”

***

“What was that?!” Luke demanded the minute Tom was off the stage and out of the hearing range of others.

“What was what?” The brit innocently countered, reaching for the water bottle and gulping down half of it. 

“Seriously? Tom – you went all feral and protective over Loki, after some fan made a harmless offhand remark. This isn't like you to snap at somebody, not like you at all. I'm worried.”

“They... They don't understand him. They hurt him by saying he is evil, rather than just trying to understand him and his motives. Please. I'm fine. I just... I can't stand how they treat him.” Tom begged with him, trying to make the other understand why he had snapped at the words and why they hurt him so deeply. 

Luke shook his head.

“Look. I know you take your work very seriously and you have put a lot of time in creating this character but please do try to remember that as much as your performances are amazing, Loki is still not a real person.”

Tom sadly smiled at him. “To have compassion for a character is no different from having compassion for another human being.” 

Luke just shook his head in a wordless reply and sighed. “Alright. I don't want to argue any more over this. Are you good on your own or should I come with you to the hotel?”

“I'm good,” Tom nodded at the man, dismissing his PA for the rest of the day. He wanted to go sight-seeing in Sidney and then retreat for a nice long sleep in his hotel. Maybe call his sisters if he could figure out the time difference. 

And there it was again, that nagging feeling he had felt all through the interview. He had thought maybe it was the cameras and the fans but he was all alone now and it still didn't ease. The feeling of being closely watched.

“Hello?” He called out and spun around to take in the empty room, making sure nobody else was there. 

He let out a helpless giggle at his own absurdity and paranoia and shook his head, chiding himself: “Tom, you are loosing it.”

***

Loki ran. He ran as fast as he could, only stopping once he was back in the narrow pathway to the Yggdrasil, the Midgard with Thomas Hiddleston safely behind him. He felt pained and confused. He had wanted to walk up to the man and force him on his knees, he wanted to destroy him for what an insult his very existence was to Loki's person. But he couldn't. Maybe mother was right and he had changed after his fall and run in with the Chitauri, New York... Then he was finally in the branches on the world tree and he kept leaping through space as fast as he dared, to reach the safety of Asgard. 

He came back in through a hidden path, smoothing his hair and clothes back into place and straightening his back as he marched through the palace gates. Thor was away on a peace mission in one of the nine realms and that suited Loki just fine, the last thing he needed was his nosy and loud brother questioning him about his recent whereabouts. 

He knew his mother would be in the throne room, ruling in his fathers stead as the later slumbered in Odinsleep, but he didn't dare to bother her with his own personal matters. She had the whole Asgard to oversee after all, the weight of it heavy on her shoulder, so Loki retreated to his own chambers, still lost in thought after what had just happened. 

He was surprised to see Frigga already there, sitting by the window and looking out over the city while an open book lay in her lap, forgotten. 

“Mother?” Loki questioned, unsure how to go about this. “I'm sorry I missed the council today, I was...busy.”

Frigga smiled at him and rose to open her hands and take him in for a hug. “That's quite all right. That is not why I've come.”

“It is not?” The god of mischief questioned, now confused. 

His mother smiled at him: “Really, son, did you think I would not notice you troubled and weary lately? Hm? What's going on?”

Loki hesitated for a moment, torn between keeping it all to himself and needing to share his thoughts with somebody else. 

“He's...” He trailed off and paced the room, trying to decide what exactly to tell to his mother. “He's an actor. He plays, well he plays me, in a theater of sorts, but not here in our nine realms, his home, it's hidden. Far away. Midgard of sorts, but not the one we know. He is quite famous there and I thought it fun to meet him but today I saw him and he... He protected me. He didn't know I was listening but he still stood up and spoke of me like he knew me. He said...”

He paused and licked his lips, considering his mother, but Frigga was just smiling at him, looking happy to hear story and nodding in encouragement.

“He told... He told he loved me.” Loki blurted out, the words heavy in his mind, confusing him so. 

He was taken back by Frigga laughing softly at her words. Was she really just jesting with him?  
He felt sudden anger at himself for being so forthcoming and trusting with his secret.

“Do you mock me?” He blurted out, hurt and anger making his voice quiver.

“Oh! Of course not, son! Forgive me, for I meant no harm, I just think it to be so true, that anyone who really got to know you, would love you. Do not despair over his words for I am sure he meant them, whether he knows you in person or not. If he knows the tales of your life, he understands you and I'm sure he'd love to meet you. So, did you two talk? What is he like?”

Loki shook his head, his shoulder sinking down. 

“No, I... I wanted to, but I couldn't. He's nothing like anyone I've ever met and I hate him while I also I admire his talent. He is weak and mortal and he laughs with my voice and his hair, well it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen, it's the color of the sun you know.” The man explained in haste, feeling his cheeks oddly burn thinking back about the man.

Frigga just smiled and reassured him. “You two will meet in time if it's meant to be by the Norns. Now give me your hand for I am a seer and I wish to look upon the man who has caught your interest so.”

Loki outstretched his hand towards her, while musing: “He knew about it all, about New York... But they got the ending wrong, in his version I am a prisoner here. But it doesn't matter, does it? For them it is all just a tale.”

Frigga had taken his hand and closed her eyes, concentrating on the connection and Loki waited patiently, curious if she would see anything. 

She suddenly let out a gasp and released his hand, eyes wide with sorrow. 

“Oh Loki. My love. I'm so sorry.”

Loki recoiled, pulling his hand back and frowned at her. “What? What did you see? Tell me!”

“I'm very sorry son but this just isn't meant to be. You must not go to that place ever again or seek that mortal out in any other way. Norns have sealed his faith.”

Loki gasped in surprise, he had not seen her mother so serious for a long time and her words sounded grieve. They had been mending their relationship and he had been doing all he could to make amendments. Now he felt like something heavy lay between them and he felt guilt, knowing it must have been his ill doing that Frigga saw threatening Thomas. 

“Are you saying I am still evil? That I will destroy him?” He asked, swallowing heavy as his jötunn blood burnt him in his veins, weighing him down more than ever. Monster. His kind were monsters. 

“No! Don't... Please don't blame yourself. Loki you are not evil, you never were. You were lost but you are home now and we won't let you get lost again. That's a promise.” Frigga said, swiftly standing and grabbing his hands again, forcing him to look her in the eyes and see the love there.  
“For what I saw, it is not you who threatens he but he who is already lost.”

Loki frowned, not quite understanding what Frigga meant. He really needed some time to think about her words for seers usually kept quiet about what they saw and couldn't reveal any details in the fear of meddling with higher plans. Demanding the truth from her would get him nowhere if she thought it best to keep silent about her visions. 

So he just nodded.

“Alright mother. I won't see the one named Thomas Hiddleston again.”

Frigga nodded in approval before giving him a kiss on the cheek and leaving to take care of Asgard's politics.

Loki sat in his room for a long time, turning the events of the day over and over in his head. He knew Thomas was a mortal and much weaker than him so he couldn't really see how he could damage Loki as his mother so obviously feared. And if the god himself didn't danger the mortal then they should both be fine. 

He was torn. He knew Frigga had her reasons for speaking in warning but didn't Thomas himself deserve a little warning too? He huffed. There was a reason why he was called the trickster after all and that meant he was really bad at fallowing orders. It would be just a quick trip, he said to himself. And Thomas had stood up to protect him during the interview so wasn't it only fair for Loki to try and help him now?

He changed his appearance with a flick of his wrist and threw a gray cape around his shoulders. Nobody would question Lady Sif going out, the prince thought to himself with satisfaction while a duplicate of him appeared on the bed sound asleep. 

TBC.


	2. It's like playing tennis

***

Tom had fallen asleep on the bed fully clothed, while waiting for the right time to call home and skimming over the script for Coriolanus. He woke with a big yawn and checked his watch to see he had dozed off for almost two hours. He hadn't felt the jet lag while touring the city but it was obviously there and he stretched absently, trying to get his joints and stiff body to cooperate. 

He almost fell off the bed when he heard a chuckle behind him and he quickly scrambled to get his back against the opposite wall to protect himself from the intruder. He had locked the doors and his room was on the tenth floor so he was sure that whoever was standing there, in a long gray cape none the less, was not here by accident or with any good intentions. 

“Who are you?” He demanded, trying to remember where he had left his phone. 

The figure chuckled again and Tom squinted at him in the low light, something about him suddenly seeming very familiar, but the cloak cast the others face in shadows, leaving only the barest glint of eyes. 

“Well, well... Given what you said earlier today in that hall I would have expected a warmer greeting from you but then again you didn't think me real, now did you?” With his words the intruder slipped his cloak back and Tom's own face, or well, rather his face as Loki stared back at him. 

Tom pushed back against the wall, bewildered for a moment. 

“Is this some kind of sick joke? Or am I still dreaming?” He licked his lips nervously taking in the sight before him, unsure how to proceed.

Loki shrugged. “A little bit of both maybe, little human, but don't bother yourself with technicalities.”

“What do you want?” The brit asked, his eyes still wide and darting towards the door. 

“Thinking about running? I want to help so it really would be in your own best interest to stay.” 

Thomas nodded. “Alright. I think. But who are you? Did Chris put you up to this?”

“I am Loki. Of Asgard.” The god of mischief grinned at him. “Well not the one you know. Not fully, for you got the ending of my tale wrong but a lot of it is the same as well.”

Tom seemed to be glued to his spot against the wall while his eyes fallowed asgardains every movement with care. 

“I see you don't believe me? Perhaps you need a little demonstration? Well here, let me.” Loki nodded and made himself appear as his brother Thor, before taking the form of Black Widow and then back to himself.

“That...” Tom gasped and turned wild eyes on him. “That was real. You are. Well this dream. You are Loki.”

“Finally.” The god snorted and felt amused watching Tom's confusion over the situation. The mortal was quite endearing in his own strange way, he had to admit. 

Tom now pushed himself off the wall and extended his hand with a wide smile. 

“Well. I mean. Wow. It's an honor to meet you... Even if you are just a part of my imagination in a very weird dream.”

Loki raised an eyebrow at that but took the mortal's hand in a firm grip anyway, the others long finger smooth and warm against his own calloused and cold ones. 

“Huh, you're taller than me. Well that's not fair. I think it must be the boots.” Tom mumbled to himself after seeing that eye to eye Loki had a few inches on him. 

That had the trickster right out laughing despite his usual reservations. “Well I find it quite fitting given that I am a god and thou you resemble me great deal you are still just a man.”  
Tom laughed with him, his earlier shock and tension disappearing, while he regained his usual optimistic and outgoing demeanor.

“So... There's so many things I want to ask you. I don't even know where to begin. Is it alright if I ask them, given that you are a god and all?” Tom asked, his eyes lighting up at the prospect of getting extra information about his character. 

Loki shrugged, suddenly feeling very out of place here. He was having a chat with this mortal in the name of Norns. He should be going back home, Frigga had warned him after all not to come back at all.

But Tom was smiling again cheerfully. “How about you tell me what we got wrong in the movies and I'll make you some tea. You do drink tea, don't you? Or is that just an earth thing?”

“It will suffice.” Loki allowed, while fallowing the mortal to the kettle and curiously watching him search for the teabags he had purchased earlier that day.

The asgardian hesitated, but then reminded himself it had still been twilight in Asgard when he had left so nobody would come looking for him until morning and that was still hours away. 

So he let himself relax for a while, sitting down on one of the stuffed chairs in the room and absently picking at the hem of his cape before finally beginning his story.

“So you got the first parts right. I did try to kill my brother and destroy frost giants, after that I fell. I ended up in the hands of Chitauri and they carved me to be the weapon they need to get the Tesseract. I was tortured, I lost myself. I can remember very little about the months before the attack on New York or the deed itself. When I finally came through I was beaten to a pulp by the green monster, and while my body ached my mind was finally clearer. I hated myself, I loathed the deeds I had done. I missed my family and my home. I thought they could never forgive me but there was my brother, Thor, and he told me my whole family had come to get me.” He stopped in his tale, taking in the mortal man who had sat down across from him with two tea cups and a sad expression on his face. He understood. He was the only person, besides perhaps mother, who really and truly understood Loki and what he had went through.

“So Odin had come and defeated the Thanos but he fell into Odinsleep after the exhaustion of the fight and teleporting without Biföst had taken its toll. He is till sleeping and my mother rules in his stead and none of us know when or if he'll wake.”

He left out the “and all because of me” part but he could see in Tom's eyes the other understood it without words as well. 

“Loki...”Thomase's voice was soft as if he was talking to a scared animal and maybe that comparison wasn't too far off. Jötunn were savages after all, monsters. 

“Do not blame yourself. I know you love your family, even Odin, more than you like to let out.” Tom said and reached out to take Loki's hand, his thumb softly brushing against his joints. “What he did to you was wrong. The way he lied. But he came to get you and make it right and that is all that matters. It was his choice, he chose to be your father and protect you and you should take that with you, no mater if he wakes up or not.”

Loki finally nodded in a wordless reply, his throat choking with all the feeling of guilt, hate and love he had felt towards his adoptive father for so long. 

Tom paused to pour milk in their teas before sitting back with his cup and taking a sip while thoughtfully looking out the window at the Sidney skyline. 

“What happened then?” He questioned, leaving Loki the space he needed. 

The god tasted the drink, deciding he rather liked it, before he finally continuing. 

“I was... I am a mass murderer. All those souls in New York. They were slaughtered and I was to be blamed for that. The avengers wished to kill me on sight but my mother argued in my defense. She told them I had not done it in free will and she was right. As much as I had been angry or gone mad during my fall I wouldn't have attacked Earth like that.”

He paused again not really wishing to remember, much less speak about his experience with the Chitauri or other creatures he had met roaming the darkest corners of the universe. 

Tom hummed quietly and drank his tea. 

“So you say you attacked the Earth but I don't remember any of that happening here, how do you explain that?” The actor finally asked after a few minutes had passed by with neither of them saying anything.

Loki shrugged.

“There are nine realms. But as I traveled cast out from my home I found other paths, new paths, leading to places like this. A copies of sorts of the realms we know or entirely new universes on their own. Even I am not sure which one is the right answer here.” 

The mortal was surprised at that. “So I am not living on your Midgard but just some duplicate of it?”

Loki smiled. “Well since I can travel here this place is very much as real as the true Midagrd of the Nine realms.”

Tom nodded and concluded. “So you are free to travel? You are not a prisoner is Asgard?”

The god shook his head. “No. Mother kept a close eye on me for the first year, I was made to wear cuffs which blocked my Seiðr and I was not allowed outside on my own but once I was sane again and proven my loyalties in the confrontation with dark elves she gave me back my power and made me her adviser.” 

Loki paused, carefully placing his cup back on the table.

“I owe her and Thor a lot. I owe her my life, if it had not been for her, the avengers would have executed me or I would be rotting away in an Asgardian prison.”

“She is an honorable and righteous woman.” Tom nodded. 

Loki's face darkened as she remembered her mother's warning and the real reason he had come here. He carefully considered the mortal before saying: “Thomas, there is a reason I came. I must warn you.”

Tom raised his eyebrows at the words but calmly answered: “Please do call me Tom, Thomas sounds awfully formal. And I am listening.”

Loki felt almost sad realizing he won't be able to return here. He had in a way enjoyed the laid back atmosphere and the company of Thomas, Tom, he corrected himself in his head.

“My mother, she is a seer, as you probably know. She had a vision of you and this world and while she refused to give me details, I believe you are in danger.”

“Danger? Me?” Tom questioned, looking both worried and incredulous. “You are the one who lives amongst gods and warring tribes. I am just a mere actor. I think you are by far more endangered than me.”

Loki shrugged. “Never the less, please humor me and accept my gift.”

Now Tom looked uncomfortable. “Please, we just met, I couldn't possibly ask anything from you and you owe me no debt. I feel bad accepting any gift from you. And maybe it is faith meaning that if some accident is meant to happen to me then no amount of trying to prevent it will help in the end.”

Loki shook his head and smiled. “I do what I want and I wish to give you this gift because I have found your company rather enjoyable for a mortal. So please stand and accept it.”

Tom stood now, still looking unsure as Loki stepped up to him and commanded him to close his eyes, but the actor still obeyed. 

He heard Loki whisper in a language probably long forgotten in most parts of the universe while the movement of air gave away his hands hovering just inches above Tom's forearms, before moving in sweeping motions all around his body. Tom felt warm all of a sudden, like someone had cast a blanket around him and he hummed contently at the new sensation before it faded back, still leaving him with the feeling of being protected and cared for. 

“What was that?” He whispered as Loki allowed him to open his eyes.

“A spell. An ancient one a powerful sorcerer once wrote to keep his lover safe at war. It doesn't make you invincible, mind you, but it will keep you from accidents and illness.” Loki explained. 

“Well I thank you.” Tom smiled at him and Loki felt torn between getting away as quick as possible and enjoying the little time he had left with the mortal. It turned out the actor made the decision for him, as he sat him down and red him the play by a man named William Shakespeare titled “Coriolanus”. Loki had to admit the man had talent and his voice was expressive but he also rather enjoyed the play itself so he was saddened to hear the author had already passed away and he had no way of meeting him. 

Finally Tom closed the book and apologetically smiled at him. “I'm sorry I stole you for so long. I did mean to only read you the first act but I got carried away.”

Loki laughed. “That's rather alright for I enjoyed both your performance and the words of this man named William. I think you will suit well in the role, you have the charisma to be a military leader. The men would follow you. 

_Now put your shields before your hearts, and fight. With hearts more proof than shields_ ?”

He recited, unsure if he had gotten the text right, but Tom seemed awed he could remember anything about the play at all.

Then the mortal looked down at his watch. “Gosh, It's so late. I really should be turning in for the night, I have tons of promotional stuff to do tomorrow. I'm so sorry. Maybe you could come back tomorrow or how does these dreams work, is it like a one time thing? Or will I be rested no mater how late I stay up here with you?”

Loki nodded. “No, you need your sleep and I will be gone after tonight. I'm afraid I won't return.”

Tom looked disappointed. “Well, alright. Are you sure? I still didn't get to ask even half the things that I want to know, like what about your children, the whole magic thing or how do you not sweat to death in all that leather and metal. “

Loki laughed, delighted to hear Tom payed so much attention to detail while portraying him but then sobered, giving hims a long and thoughtful look.

“Farewell Thomas. Thank you for the evening and your company, I hope your faith finds you well and healthy for many years to come.” Loki courtly nodded at him before quickly disappearing.

TBC.


	3. Damaged soul

***

Loki was distracted during his morning meeting with the council. He repeatedly found himself staring out the big windows of the throne room rather than paying any actual attention to what was being said. He wondered if Thomas was safe and if he had done enough to keep him so, if his spell would last despite the difference of worlds and distance. He sighed and looked down at his page of notes only to find himself frowning at the words he had absently scribbled there. 

_Let me twine_  
 _Mine arms about that body, where against_  
 _My grained ash an hundred times hath broke_  
 _And scarr'd the moon with splinters: here I clip_  
 _The anvil of my sword, and do contest_  
 _As hotly and as nobly with thy love_  
 _As ever in ambitious strength I did_  
 _Contend against thy valour._

“Loki?” Frigga sent him a worried glance and looked at him expectantly as she had obviously asked him something that he had missed.

Loki put on his best mask of charm and smiled at her. 

“I must apologize my queen for I got caught up reading my own notes. Would you please be so kind and repeat the question at hand.”

For a moment Frigga studied him and Loki prayed to all gods she didn't see any signs of his little trip last nigh and he let out a small relieved breath only as she smiled back at him.

“My lord, as I was saying I think it would be best to increase the monthly shipment of grain to Jotunheim until they have finished construction of the new capital and can produce for their own.”  
“A wise call my queen,” Loki answered to her and the council continued with him paying a bit more mind to what was being said.

Worrying over some mortal was ridiculous. Thomas had probably already forgotten about him or thought the whole thing a weird dream. 

He excused himself after the meeting and made his way over to Odin's chambers. It had become a part of his morning routine to go and check up on the man. He had first done it while still cuffed from his Seiðr, very lost and looking for answers and a peace of mind. He had thought others would not approve of him being so close to All-Father while he lay helpless but to his surprise both Frigga and Thor only nodded in acknowledgment upon meeting him there, usually staying quiet, sometimes talking in small voices about past, happier times, but never telling him to leave.

It was by Odin's bedside that he truly forgave Thor for he saw he had much changed and didn't wear the cruelty or pride he once did, instead he seemed thoughtful and remorseful, wise in a way Loki had always wished his older brother would be. 

Yes they still jested and played pranks on each other but Thor always made sure to do so without malice or humiliating Loki. 

Given everything he was not surprise to find Thor already sitting by his father's bedside, reading him a lengthy military report from Nidavellir, nodding at Loki as he entered. 

“How is Midgard and Jane?” The god of mischief asked with a smug smile, siting down opposite to his brother and looking closely at Odin's sleeping face, looking for any signs of improvement. 

“How did you know?” Thor asked, obviously surprised but also impressed. 

Loki scoffed. “Please – you have that idiotic grin on your face and besides as mother's adviser it is my job to know about everything that goes on around here and might be of importance.”

Thor nodded and grinned even wider, possibly only to irritate his brother, as he said. “Jane is well and the Avengers help watch over Midgard even when I'm gone so nothing can get too serious. But what of yourself brother? You seem troubled by something? Is everything alright?”

Loki felt a sudden burst of warmth realizing Thor was worried for him and could pick on the subtle hints in his behavior where others would see nothing. 

He sat back in his chair and regarded his adoptive brother for a moment before saying: “I... Can I ask you something?”

Thor tucked away the documents from earlier and nodded: “Of course, anything.”

“When your were down on Midgard, have you ever gone to their theater? Have you heard of a man named William Shakespeare who wrote plays for them?”

Thor laughed. “Well that is an unusual question, even from you brother. But no, Jane has mostly taken me to see the moving pictures of movies but I think she did mention this man named Shakespeare beings a very famous author. Why such a question if I may ask?”

Loki gave him a small shrug. “I just wanted to confirm something. This man's works have been, ah, brought to my attention as of late and I am curious to learn about him and his plays on Midgard.”

Thor looked cautious as he suggested it, so he spoke softly, his eyes sincere: “It has been five years Loki. That's a long time for midgardians and Man of Iron helped me make sure your name was cleaned there as well. You could come there with me, go see the plays you are so fascinated about.”

Loki quickly shook his head, his face twisting with bitter emotions. “No, Thor, do not speak so lightly of my crimes. I am still the one who opened the gates. I killed those agents...”

Thor cut him off. “Brother, all of it does not matter for you were not in control and had no say in any of this. Please come with me and I will show you it is alright.”

Loki swiftly rose, feeling himself on thin ice with Thor's pleading puppy dog eyes. No, it would be a terrible idea. He could bare Thomas’s Midgard for he had not done the deeds there but to go back to the real thing...

“I'm sorry brother, I must go. I'll see you at dinner.” Loki excused himself, while exiting as quick as possible without looking like he was escaping and making his way down to the safety of the palace's large library. 

There was usually a few souls besides him there and the place was big enough to find solitude in some alcove. When he finally stopped he realized he was not in his usual section for magic but rather the shelves that held old tales, bard songs and poetry.

He couldn't help but to think of Thomas and how he would love these. 

Mother had told him not to go back again. She hadn't said anything about not sending books. So maybe he was doing it partly to distract himself from thinking about Thor's suggestion but he soon found himself picking out volumes that could be of interest to Tom and considering what poets and bards he might most appreciate.

“You're a lonely fool.” 

He mumbled to himself with disgust as he bound the volumes with a thick leather cord. He considered writing a note but refrained from it in the end, not knowing what to say to the other man. 

Now he only had to figure out how exactly to deliver the gift so he stored them away with a flick of his wrist to his personal storage place he could only reach with his Seiðr. He tried to read after that but he still felt too distracted to properly concentrate so he gave up after a few hours and making a quick stop at the kitchens to fill his pockets with apples and sugar cubes, he was on his way to the stables. 

Sleipnir stood in his stall tall and proud as always, if only a little restless given Odin was sleeping and he had no one but Loki to keep him company or take him out for rides. Everybody else, even most of the staff at the stables were afraid of him and him being the son of one of the princes did nothing to aid with that. 

“Hey my gorgeous lord, how are you today?” Loki whispered to him as he entered and wrapped his hands around the horses giant muzzle.

Sleipnir let out a soft neigh and nudged his mother gently. 

Loki smiled at him. “Yes I know, of course I remembered to bring you the apples.”

The horse neighed again while he reached for his pockets and the god got more serious, shaking his head at him. “I just went to see him but there's no change.” 

He fed the apple to Sleipnir, while gently stroking his mane. “I know you miss him but don't worry, that old bat won't die, he will wake up just to drive mother crazy by asking her what all the fuzz is about, while demanding proper food and mead.”

Loki swallowed the tears he hadn't realized had come to his eyes. 

“Do you wish to go for a ride?” He asked as he tried to keep himself under control and not show his son how distress he himself was over All-Father. 

The horse made a skipping jump with as much grace as his eight legs allowed at the suggestion and Loki snorted. 

“You truly are my son you intolerable creature. Now let me get the saddle and no arguing since you did drop me the last time and covered in mud is not a good look for me.”

Now his firstborn guiltily hung his head and looked truly remorseful for the small riding accident. 

“Ah, but it is not of importance any more as I hope you do try to refer from dropping me off your back in the future. Let me get the bridles and saddle and we can go.”

***

Tom woke with the most terrible headache he had had in a long while and he took a moment to just blink at the ceiling, forcing his eyes to adjust to the light. He had dreamed last night, he remembered as much. Loki suddenly appearing in his room, being his charming god self and making Tom listen to his storied of how the events in “real” Asgard had unfolded. Maybe he wanted that for Loki and it calmed his conscience to know that in some universe Loki might be real and he might be happy, or well, happier than he was in the Marvel movies. 

He rolled out of bed and stretched, forcing himself to focus on his morning run and forget the weird dream. As he dressed he still recalled how enthusiastic he had been to read Coriolanus to him and how much the trickster had seemed to enjoy it. He huffed, feeling warm knowing his most loved character apparently approved of his choices for new roles and liked Shakespeare. He was looking around for his key-card when his look finally swept over the coffe table and noticed the two dirty tea cups there. 

“Fuck.” Tom muttered, suddenly unsure of everything. 

He grabbed his phone, also finding his key-card underneath it and dialed Chris. 

The phone called almost five times before Chris finally answered, his voice all sleep rough Australian drawl.

“Hey mate. I know you just flew over and there's the time zone thing and everything but you do know it's 5Am in the morning here, right?”

“I, um, ah, sorry. I'm very sorry.” Tom mumbled, realizing how ridiculous it all was. “I was just... Could we maybe meet up today? For breakfast? I thing I might be suffering from some serious character bleed and to tell the truth it kind of scares me.”

“Alright, of course.” Chris answered, his voice sounding more awake and serious now and they agreed to meet for breakfast at 9, which still left Tom with almost four hours to dwell over his paranoia. He took a deep breath and released it, closing his eyes and tried force himself calm. They had warned them about stuff like this at RADA but he had never thought he would be one of those needing to fight his head space and control back from his characters. 

Given he still had time until meeting Chris and his nerves were on edge making him restless, he decided to go for his run anyway and force Loki out of his mind. 

He had made himself two cups of tea and conversed with himself as if he were two different people last night. If that wasn't crazy he didn't know what was. There was no other explanation. 

“Fuck,” He whispered again, finding the swearword satisfying in a small comforting way.

***

Tom was staring at Hadley, almost forgetting his lines. 

He had seen him again. No way. This couldn't be happening. Opening night for Coriolanus and Loki was back. 

He had never truly figured out what had happened that night and after a reassuring talk with Chris and his sisters he had decides it had been a one time break down from all the stress of promoting the Dark World and tried to forget about it as best as he could.

But now he had looked at the audience and there in the third row had been a familiar figure, dressed in a sleek back suit, green eyes wide and fulled with awe as he watched him. 

_No. It had not been Loki. It had been someone else. Just some random man in a suit or maybe a cosplayer or something else like that,_ he reassured himself. _Your mind is just playing tricks on you._

But he didn't dare to look again.

***

Loki left the huge bouquet of roses and the books in Tom'd dressing room and he had just finished writing his note, finally figuring out what to say, when the door opened and he froze, realizing Tom was standing there and gaping at him. This was not meant to happen. He had just wanted to see the play and leave him the gifts. But now he was standing there instead of teleporting, Tom's blue-green eyes gluing him to the spot. 

Fool, he was a damn fool. Mother had warned him after all and for moths he had warred with himself, trying to forget about this place and the puny mortal. But he couldn't. 

Hadley, the actor who had played Aufidius in the play, chose that exact moment to drop by, stepping in and patting Tom on the shoulder, smiling huge: “God job man, that was really great.”

Then he turned to Loki and did a double take.

“Whoa, hello. Sorry you must hear this a lot but you look exactly like Tom. I'm Hadley Fraser and you are?” He asked outstretching his hand in welcome. 

Tom's eyes widened impossibly upon realizing his co-actor could also see Loki and he muttered out the first thing that came into his mind: “He's one of my stunt doubles from Thor, he's name is... “

He couldn't think of anything for a moment but Loki smoothed it over, taking the actor's hand and saying: “William Locke, nice to meet you Hadley. Tom has told me so much about you.”

The bearded actor beamed at that. “Don't believe that old fox and everything he says, he might look like an English gentleman but he is a trickster at heart.”

Loki laughed at that, throwing his head back and obviously amused.

“Oh, don't worry I'm a little bit like that myself.”

Hadley nodded at them. 

“Like I said, nice to meet you William and great performance Tom, but I feel like a man who just spent three hours sweating in this costume so if you'll excuse me I'll go change now.”

He was out after that, closing the door behind himself and leaving Tom staring at Loki.

“He could see you. You are real.”

Loki sighed. “Ah, I had hoped we had established that the last time around but yes.”

Tom dragged a palm over his face and then just burst out laughing.

“Do you have any idea how worried I was that I was going crazy?”

Loki shrugged. “I didn't plan on coming back so it was best that way.”

Tom walked up to him. “You're an ass.”

The god raised an eyebrow at that. In Asgard only maybe Thor would dare to speak to him like that. 

“So... Why are you here now?” The other man asked, his eyes roaming over Loki's face and body, taking in every detail.

“I liked the play, your performance was outstanding.” The god said and his green eyes flashed with something that made Tom believe he wasn't just teasing him.

He still felt little taken back by this. “You came back to this version of Midgard only to see Coriolanus and watch me perform?”

“Well...yes.” Loki reluctantly allowed, eyes darting about the small dressing room. 

“I should go.” He added as an afterthought but suddenly Tom was stepping up to him and putting hands on his shoulders, looking serious. 

“Please don't.”

“Alright.”

 _Norns! Why was he letting this mortal tell him what to do?_ Loki had no idea what a pudding was but Thomas was speaking very enthusiastically about it, insisting Loki met up with him in two hours and have some. 

The god nodded, while his rational mind screamed at him to get back home. 

Thomas still looked as if he believed Loki would again disappear for months.

“Oh, by the gods! I'll find you in two hours, now go enjoy the party.” The Æsir reassured him before leaving.

***

Tom just stared as Loki vanished in front of his eyes before he let out a deep breath and noticed the flowers and books on the table. He didn't have to guess long who they were from as there was a card written in precise and cursive handwriting, reading _“There is a world elsewhere.” ___


	4. You never know what's around the corner

***

“You came!” Tom beamed as he excited the opening night party and Loki noted he had the the roses carefully wrapped in his arms along with the books. 

The Æsir frowned. “I hope you approve of my choice of flowers, I tried to research on Midgardian traditions for complimenting one after a successful play but found picking the appropriate cultivar and color very complicated as the Lady at the flower store told me it depended on your relationship to the receiver and the occasion. Not to mention I find it very confusing still as to _why_ one would bestow a plant upon someone whose performance brought them joy.”

“These are beautiful and it's the thought, that counts anyway.” Tom reassured him as they picked their way through the late London streets, heading for his apartment. They could have taken the tube but Tom felt like walking and he wasn't sure if having Loki in a confined space with bunch of strangers was the best idea.

“Hold on, so if you don't give your actors flowers in Asgard, then what _do you_ give them? Or do you even have theater there?” Tom asked, very curious to learn about Loki's world. Truth be told he hadn't really believed the man, god, would come back at all and to be walking with him like this, side by side on the familiar streets felt surreal and thrilling.

Loki scoffed. “Of course we have plays! They are marvelous both in language and the skill of the performers. Usually when one favors an actor or felt his or her performance was above all others, the patron will send them gold or jewelery to let them know of their approval.” 

Tom couldn't help but to laugh at that, thoroughly amused. 

“You know I wouldn't complain if we had the same tradition here on Earth but as I said the flowers are great as well and I am glad you thought of me enough to go through the trouble of studying our customs.”

Loki waved a dismissive hand and remained silent but Tom could see the corners of his mouth slightly twitching and knew the man was secretly pleased with himself.

They walked in comfortable silence for a while, million thoughts and questions swirling around in Tom's head. He finally settled on explaining to Loki why they were going back to his place.

“You know I'm sorry I couldn't take you out to eat pudding but the resemblance is enough to draw attention and I'm finding it hard to get some privacy as it is.”

“It is fine.” Loki assured him. “I don't like being stared at either and the opportunity to turn them all into snakes, or to do something else as much fun, would probably prove irresistible for me.”

“Oh no.” Tom looked horrified at the words. “Please no turning people into snakes stuff while your out with me, alright? First of all that wouldn't be very nice and second of all my agent would get a fit trying to smoot something like that over.”

Loki just grinned, eyes sparkling with mischief as he reminded Tom. “I do what I want. I'm a prince of Asgard and god.”

After a small pause he added.

“But I will consider this plea of yours.”

The actor nodded, recognizing Loki's attempt to act civilized for what it was. Which brought him back to his previous thoughts of _why_ exactly a god from a great kingdom in space was hanging out with him. 

“Speaking of Asgard. How are things back at home?” He asked, hoping he sounded casual enough.

Loki looked surprised for a moment but quickly recovered. “Everything is fine. Frigga and Thor are both busy with politics and military accordingly and fa... Odin still sleeps. Sleipnir feels lonely without him so I try to go and spend some time with my son every day.”

Loki was sure Tom would be repelled to learn he really did have a son in the shape of a horse but the other man looked over at him, his blue-green eyes suddenly sad and filled with worry.

“It must be lonely for you too.” He concluded and before the trickster could shove his defenses up, the man added. “You know if you ever want company, or you know, just some place to, I don't know, hang for a while... You are always welcome with me.”

The god stopped and glared at him but Tom stood his ground and didn't let the others hostility get under his skin. He knew the man, or rather his character, too good for that. 

“While you might be amusing at times, I'll have you know I have plenty of work and duties in Asgard as well.” Loki hissed, trying to save his reputation.

Tom nodded. “I know. And I didn’t mean any harm or disrespect. It's just an invitation.”

Loki looked like he was considering the words and the other man nodded at him reassuringly. “Come on now, we're almost there and I don't know about you but I for one am just craving for something sweet.”

Tom led the way through the front gates of his apartment building, Loki following behind and studying his surroundings with a look of concentration upon his face. Tom could only guess how much different modern day Earth seemed to Loki compared to the Viking era or Asgard itself.

They climbed the stairs and Tom felt self-conscious trying to remember in what state he had left his apartment in that morning. He was generally quite tidy but given he had been in a hurry and all excited about the opening night, he couldn't quite rule out a few dirty dishes or a pair of socks forgotten somewhere. He hadn't exactly planned to have anyone over – let alone a Norse god who lived in a golden palace. He finally got the door open and thought how meager his flat must seem to Loki after all the usual glory he was surrounded with. 

“Sorry.” He blurted out. “The place is a bit of a mess -- I was in a hurry this morning.”

He let Loki enter first and then stepped in behind him, closing the door. 

The dark haired man stopped in the hall, same examining and thoughtful look on his face as he studied Tom's home from the inside as well.

Tom busied himself with removing his shoes and carrying the roses to kitchen to put them in water, upon his return he saw the god had taken off his shoes and coat as well, and was now standing in the middle of the living room frowning to himself. 

Before Tom could ask anything Loki turned to him.

“I collected some information about you after first seeing you in the moving pictures and from what I understood you are doing quite well for an actor. So why in the name of Norns do you live in a place like this when you could be doted upon like a prince?”

Tom felt a sudden surge of protectiveness over his flat and lifestyle. 

“This is my flat Loki, my home. And I'm choosing to live here because I _don't want to be_ treated like a prince. I'm not above or different from others, I'm just a human being like everybody else.”

The god scoffed at that answer. “Well from what I've seen you are _not_ like everybody else. You have a talent for captivating the audience in theatre by bringing characters to life and that's a rare gift even in Asgard.”

Tom laughed. “Well I hope you are the only character that is truly alive, I wouldn't fancy Coriolanus barging in through my front door as well.”

Loki smirked. “Technically I have been here for almost one thousand and five hundred years more than you, so don't pride yourself with creating me, mortal.”

“Do you mind if I put on some music?” Tom asked, slipping out of his coat and shuffling his CDs. He really needed to relax a bit and get his head around the fact that a god from Northern myths was indeed standing in his living room. 

“No, not at all.” Loki replied as he walked over to one one of the bookshelves and studied the volumes. “But I suggest you pick something that pleases me or I might reconsider my choice to stay here.”

Well no pressure there. Tom sarcastically thought as he finally picked out Bon Iver, hoping it was neutral enough to suit Loki's unknown tastes. 

“Whiskey?” He offered uncertainly as Loki had picked a book from the shelf and seemed to be enthralled by it, not paying his host much attention. 

To his surprise the god hummed under his breath and nodded, before turning his bright green eyes on Tom, his gaze intense as always. The other man couldn't help but to think how much like a force of a nature Loki was – enthralling and scary at the same time, so much more powerful than the mortal could even comprehend.

Tom poured out the single malt on rocks and handed over the glass, feeling cool fingers brush against his own before he pulled back and busied himself with preparing another.

“So what are we drinking to?” He asked the Æsir, finding it hard not to fidget with the piercing green eyes fixed on him. Having a god stare at you was a whole new level of uncomfortable. 

Loki looked pleased as he swirled the drink around in the tumbler and smelt it. 

“Well how about 'to a new beginning' given as your opening night with Coriolanus was such a success?” 

Tom nodded approvingly to that and added. “Well let's make that to new beginnings in general, shall we?” 

They clinked the glasses and drank, smooth burn of alcohol helping to take the edge off and the actor didn't protest as Loki swiftly poured out a new round round for them.

“What do you call this drink?” The raven haired man asked after they had emptied their glasses. 

Tom raised an eyebrow before realizing that Loki hadn't been around much after the viking era. 

“It's whiskey and it was invented around eight hundred years ago. I guess you haven't been visiting Earth much lately, have you?”

“No.” Loki shrugged, again going for the bottle and Tom knew he should protest. But the god of mischief was pressing the drink in his hand and he looked to be more relaxed than Tom had ever seen him before and a part of him was really enjoying this bizarre encounter. 

“Well maybe _you_ could help me get acquainted with some of the new things around here. Like this pudding you keep babbling about or the moving pictures you call films.” And hones to god, Tom had had no idea his voice could purr like Loki's just had. 

The other man's eyes were sparkling as he stared Tom down and the actor found himself captivated by them as he tried to pull his thoughts together enough to form an actual sentence. “Yes... Sure. I mean. What would you like to see? I've got a whole collection of films. The descriptions are on the backside if you need help choosing.”

He gestured to the TV-set and big shelf full of DVDs, before heading back to the kitchen to get the desert.

 

When Tom returned with two bowls in hands he found Loki had shed his suit jacket and was holding an open DVD box in his hands, looking perplexed at the disc inside. 

“So how does this magic work?” The Æsir asked and looked at the other man expectantly.

Tom placed the bowls down on the coffee table and took the DVD from Loki, noting it was his very unofficial copy of “Only lover left alive”.

“Are you sure you want to watch this one? It might be a bit too dull and confusing for you?” He asked, almost anticipating the glare he got in return. 

“I picked it out so it means I wish to see it. Now don't stall and show me.”

Tom smiled, delighted in a way that out of all the movies he owned, the god had picked this one and remained stubbornly certain about his choice. He crouched down and turned off the music, before showing Loki how to work a DVD-player and he was pleased to see his guest picked up on new things fast. 

They settled back on the couch, Tom pausing the movie and handing over the bowl, noting Loki again sniffed the food before actually eating it. 

“What is this?” The Æsir asked, frowning.

Tom rolled his eyes, realizing he was going to have a lot of questions to answer, given Loki's curious nature.

“Like I said earlier, it's pudding – apple crumble and custard to be precise. And don't look so skeptical, it's not like someone is going to try and poison you.” He tried to joke.

“Well it wouldn't be the first time someone has tried.” Loki said, face going serious but he all the same took a spoonful of the desert and carefully sealed his lips around it, closing his eyes and savoring the taste. He let out a small moan of approval and Tom felt pride in guessing right the god of mischief would be a sweet tooth like him. 

He played the movie, even if only to distract himself from watching the frost giant devour the pudding with almost obscene pleasure. After the dessert was finished and Tom had poured them both new drinks, Loki seemed to finally concentrate on the movie, the blonde having to pause here and there to explain things or answer his questions about technicalities of film making, but overall the Æsir seemed to be following the story surprisingly well. 

Finally the end credits rolled and Loki looked thoughtful, while Tom got up and stretched he also noted the god had curled up in the corner of the couch, still wearing his tie and cufflinks.

“Want to watch another one?” He asked, trying to understand if Loki had actually liked the film or not. 

“Yes, I found this one interesting, immortality, or well rather -- long life span, is nothing new to my people.”

Tom nodded. “I guess so. Although it must be very different being born that way or being a mortal who has been turned immortal.”

They both were silent for a moment before Tom wandered over to the shelf and tried to make up his mind on what they should watch next, he asked Loki what he would like to see but the god just shrugged and told him that whatever he picked was fine. 

Finally his hand almost automatically went for the “Heat” and as he fiddled with the DVD player he peeked over his shoulder, trying to gauge how much further he could push his guest before he would show his temper. 

“Not that you don't look dashing in formal-wear Loki, but maybe you'll be better off without the tie and cufflinks? Make yourself comfortable, you know.”

He was mostly expecting an insult or some other defensive remark, so he was surprised to turn around and see Loki vanishing the tie from his hands with the top button of his shirt undone and sleeves rolled up. The trickster still curled back into “his” corner of the couch like it was unsafe to move too far in fear of somebody stealing the nice warm spot. Maybe that had happened to him a lot in the past. Growing up with Thor and his friends probably meant having to be on guard a lot.

Tom didn't say anything but as he sat down he took a comforter from the back of his favorite reading chair and casually draped it over his legs and Loki's. The prince sent him a glare at that and looked down at the cloth like it was personally insulting him but never the less let it remain where it was. The brit fought hard to suppress a smile. _Loki, you little bastard, unable to accept help or kindness but still needing it so badly._

The actor had seen the film so many times that he didn't really notice when he dozed off to the sound of familiar dialogue, his body beyond exhausted after the play. He dreamed of strong arms carefully picking him up and carrying him to bed.

***

Loki was enthralled by the film but at some point he noted Tom's eyes drooping and the next time he looked over, the man was sound asleep. He waited for the story on the screen to get a conclusion and the credits to the people involved in the production to appear before he turned his full attention to the mortal. He was so vulnerable like this -- sleeping oblivious to the world around him, Loki could feel the protective Seiðr he had cast on him but that was the only thing guarding the frail body. He carefully leaned forward and studied the man, noting how his own familiar features looked so different on his face. The mortal's mouth was so much softer, his skin a healthy golden tone and short blonde hair a complete opposite to Loki's own. 

The prince felt a pang of guilt remembering what mother had told him about staying away from Tom. And yet here he was, sitting on his couch, their faces mere inches apart. He knew he shouldn't have come but why was he finding it so hard to forget the man? To just go on like he didn't exist?

The god sighed and wished not for the first time, that his life wasn't such a Norns forsaken mess.

He rose and tried to decide if he should just leave. But his host had had a long day and a very tiring play so sleeping out here wasn't probably too comfortable for him. Loki looked around noting the door to the bedroom and carefully picked Tom up, holding the man against his chest as he walked over to the other room. He felt Tom stir in his arms, pushing his face further against Loki's neck with hot breath puffing against the god's skin, before the mortal fell back to deep sleep. 

Trickster almost dropped him, the small gesture of someone nuzzling up against him so intimate and unfamiliar he felt torn. His body was, well it was more than interested it seemed to get more of that, but his mind was angry at the man in his arms for making him want that kind of closeness. This was not for Loki. He had always known that. Intimacy, or more like sex ,was just a weapon -- it gave you power and control. Monsters didn't have feelings or need to hold somone close just because it felt good. 

He placed Tom down on the bed and fought the urge to tuck up blankets around him like Frigga had done when he was little.

“Goodbye foolish mortal.” 

***


	5. Where you will spend an eternity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a real chapter, more like a small teaser with the Norns. But I just felt it needed to be included and it didn't fit in with the rest of the story so here it is on it's own.

***

“He has foolishly disregarded the warning Frigga gave him.” The first and youngest of them spoke in their usually silent halls, her gravely voice making others raise their heads from the never ending fabric of life.

“That he has.” The middle one nodded. “But it does not matter. They don't have much time left. Even _he_ can not outrun us forever. His faith shall be sealed and death shall embrace him once and for all. Loki will be left alone with nothing but dust in his hands and he shall know he was the one who killed him.”

Silence stretched once more and the eldest of them carefully picked up a thread of the two souls between her fingers. It was weak and worn, the green fibre looking like it had lost it's color and strength while the golden one, though also raddled, was still strong in parts and curling almost protectively around the green one. She tried to pick the two apart but the thread couldn't be separated and she shook her head at it before continuing the weaving and including it in there along with the others.

She sighed.

“They both are persistent I will grant them that. But their doom will find them none the less and no amount of Seiðr can save them from their own deeds.”

 

***


	6. Never stop dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update. But your feedback and kudos make me really happy and inspire me a lot. :)

Tom was disappointed to wake up to an empty flat but not surprised. He knew Loki after all and knew that communicating or other things that required stability weren't really his strong suit. He still somehow had a feeling, or at least a hope, that he hadn't seen the last of his personal god of mischief. 

As he got undressed and into the shower he tried to recall how he had gotten to his own bed, he remembered watching the film with Loki in the living room and probably passing out about a half way in. He thought he had just dreamed somebody carrying him in his arms but it seemed like a logical explanation that the trickster had saved him from sleeping like a pretzel and taken him to his room. 

That feeling of being held and protected by someone who possessed such immense power and capability for destruction made Tom smile as he recalled it. He let the hot water flow over his body and relieve some of the still sore muscles from last night's play.

He tried to keep the god out of his head and thoughts but it seemed impossible and if he maybe fantasized about those piercing green eyes or the feel of soft pale skin against his lips, who could really blame him, right? Loki was awfully seducing without seemingly even thinking about it and okay, yes, it was also probably Tony Stark level of narcissistic but Tom couldn't deny the trickster looked damn good in a suit, the long lean planes of his body accentuated by the fine fabric. 

_Oh god._

He felt guilty thinking about Loki like that but also more aroused than than he could remember being in the last months. 

_Fuck._

He sighed and pressed his forehead against the cool tiles. It was just a harmless fantasy, he told himself. People thought of all sorts off crazy things while getting off.

His body still pleasantly humming he stepped out of the shower and stared at himself in the mirror. He wished he could talk about Loki suddenly turning out to be very much real with someone, Chris, his family, anyone, but as it stood they would probably just though his “character bleed” was back and he didn't really wish to worry them. 

He wrapped a towel around himself and padded to the kitchen to make some coffee before going about his day, wondering if and when he would see the Æsir again. 

***

Thor laughed with Jane as they walked down a busy New York street and he felt grieved to remember he soon had to return back home.

Jane instantly picked up on his mood change and stopped him by tugging on their joined hands. 

“Okay, spill.” She ordered, her tone and posture leaving Thor no chance to deflect the subject.

He sighed. “I do not wish to leave. I am happy here.”

Jane's frown instantly disappeared. “Well I ain't stopping you if you wish to stay. As a matter of fact I just got a great job offer here in New York so...” She looked hopefully up at him and Thor felt his heart clench. 

“Jane, it is not that easy. You know that. Father still sleeps and I have many duties in Asgard, not to mention I am very worried about my brother. He seemed to be doing so good but over the past few months he's again been more reserved and serious but he refuses to tell me what's going on. I have tried everything I know to entertainer him but nothing seems to catch his attention for long... Oh.” Thor looked like he had just realized something and he smiled at Jane. 

“Yes! Why did I not remember it sooner! You could maybe help me Jane, my brother told me there lived a great poet here on Midgard by the name of William Shakespeare and Loki loves his works. Maybe we could find a book or a play by him to captivate him? Maybe even convince him to finally come down here?”

Jane looked confused at first but then excited as well. “Well it's a great plan and I know they are doing some awesome plays here in New York but I think the best ones are over at London in the National Theater. It might be hard to get tickets but I can call my mum and ask her to look into it.”

Thor smiled his broadest smile and he felt more at ease to return home that evening, knowing he might have a way to make his little brother enjoy life again. 

***

Loki knew that being officially returned his title as the prince of Asgard and getting others besides his family to accept it where a two wholly different things but he still felt like groaning when he stepped into the stables and found the warriors three and Lady Sif already in there, grooming their horses. 

He tried to get away with greeting them with a nod and quickly stepping towards Sleipnir but it seemed the luck was not on his side this time. 

“Well, well, well, if it isn't the small prince himself, returning from his secret trip. Don't you think we haven't noticed, Snake? The way you disappear and plan your vile deeds? Well don't worry, soon enough we are going to find out what sick game you're playing and trust me, unlike Thor we won't hesitate to kill you or your bastards.” Hogun spoke, his voice cold and menacing.

Loki felt the daggers appear in his hands without a thought as he whipped around and had to exercise every bit of self restraint he had not to immediately attack. This was their plan. To provoke him into doing something stupid. Well he wasn't going to throw his family's trust down the drain just like that.

“What's the matter, silver tongue turned into lead?” Fandral asked and smirked, his hand casually slipping to the handle of his sword. 

Loki tightly gripped the daggers and tried to keep his breathing under control. 

Sif sneered, stepping to the front. “Well boys, I don't think it's his plan for Thor's destruction only, that keeps him sneaking away at nights – you all know how much he likes to be bred by monsters, don't you?” Her usually beautiful face was twisted in disgust as he looked upon Loki like he was something vile stuck under her boot. 

Loki loved his family, but he was also a proud creature and he could hardly contain the desire to destroy the warriors who mocked him and his children. 

“Don't.” He warned Thor's friends, seeing out of the corner of his eye Sleipnir also neigh and buck up in his stall, obviously distressed and worried about his mother. If that horse broke loose, even Loki wasn't sure if he could stop him. 

The female warrior seemed to be pleased to have the trickster in the tight spot as she exasperatedly sighed.

“Well you've never been a true man Loki, so it seems only fit the only creatures who you could bed were beats or weak men you took by force, imposing yourself upon them.”

Loki sprang forward at the words, pushing Sith up against the nearest stall and and pressing his knife against her throat. He could see the others moving towards them but before anything else could happen lightning boomed outside and strong wind blew open the doors, revealing Thor standing just outside with a grim look on his face.

“Brother, don't!” The thunderer shouted and rushed inside. 

Loki dropped his knife and stepped back. 

“What happened here?” Thor demanded, looking angrily between his friends and brother. 

“The liesmith has been coming and going with his sick plans and no one knows where, we were just trying to find out what twisted thing he is planing.” Fandral jumped in before Loki could figure out which was the best way to go about this.

Thor turned his blue eyes on his younger sibling. 

“Answer me brother, where have you been?”

“I was in Vanaheim.” Loki lied, not wanting anyone to know about the other Midgard or Tom. 

“He is lying again! Haimdall hasn't seen him there.” Sith angrily threw back. 

“I have spells to prevent the gatekeeper from seeing me.” The god of mischief promptly defended himself. 

“And what need would you have for such spells or for avoiding Bifröst for traveling if you indeed were doing only noble and honest deeds?” Volstagg demanded.

The raven haired god was silent and refused to answer, there was no way he could explain where he had been without revealing Thomas or admitting he had ignored Frigga's warnings. 

“Loki, please.” Thor begged him in a hushed voice but the frostgiant just shook his head and remained stubbornly silent. 

“Leave us.” The thunderer then ordered warriors three and Sith and thou they looked like they wished to protest they excited with long and disapproving glances towards Loki.

“Tell me the truth.” Thor demanded again and the younger man could hear the desperation in his voice. 

“I had some business to attend to.” 

“Loki.” The blonde man sighed and tuned away from him to walk up to Sleipnir and greet him in a gentle voice. 

The trickster sighed and closed his eyes wearily. This was not supposed to happen. He and Thor had been getting along so well for all this time and now he could almost feel the suspicions and hurt radiating off of the other. 

“I swear to you it was not something malicious I was up to... I just. By the norns, I can't really tell you more, without putting one person into danger by it and I won't do that.”

Thor suddenly started to laugh and turned around with his eyes twinkling.

“Brother! It seems I have finally understood the meaning of your behavior. You are courting and wish to keep her name secret from us! Do not worry for I won't say anything to mother or to anybody else.”

Loki almost gasped at the faulty of Thor's logic and he hastened to correct him. “No, it is not the case at all! I mean – we are not like that.”

His brother just smirked and winked in return. “Do I get to meet this not special friend of yours?”

Loki felt like burring his head in his hands but he could see how all of this might have left Thor with the wrong impression and at least his sibling wasn't mad or resentful at him anymore. So he just sighed and shrugged. He was the god of lies after all, so what harm would do a small bending of truth to cover up his meetings with Tom?

“It's... Well it's complicated. I really shouldn't go there anymore and I won't, for it brings far more trouble than it's worth.”

The blonde man frowned.

“You mustn’t speak like that. And you can not command your heart. Trust me, for I have thought a thousand times how Jane would be happier and safer without me but yet I can't help but to return to her, for she is my light and joy.”

Loki smiled tight, thinking about all the times he had denied himself something. He couldn't imagine finding someone to whom he could give his heart as freely as Thor had given his. That was, if there was even a heart in the trickster left to give. He somehow doubted that. 

A monster. A murderer.

_I love him, I see his pain._

The mortal's words echoed in his head and Loki wished for the first time in his life Frigga wasn't so good of a seer. That she could be wrong. That there was a way to...

_No._

_Get it together, Loki, this is weakness._

Thor was looking at him concerned again, putting his hand on his little brothers shoulder and catching his gaze. 

“Loki, I can see you are torn about this development in your life and maybe you even think you don't deserve happiness but trust me, when I say that me and mother are both hoping you'll finally make peace with the past and find out what _or who_ makes you truly happy.”

“Thanks.” The trickster answered.

“Now let us go – the feast has already begun. And as I promised – everything we just talked about will stay between us.”

The brothers laughed as if no time had passed when Loki changed their outfits for the formalwear with a flick of his wrist and Thor's long red cape was suddenly a daring shade of fluorescent pink instead of it's usual deep red.

“Change it back!” The thundered gasped in mock horror. 

The other man just snickered in response: “Well now brother, I think this suits you much better.”

They continued friendly bickering as they made their way to the great hall and Thor made sure everyone saw them together and acting as brothers to send out the message, that whoever was seeking trouble with Loki was also seeking trouble with the future king of Asgard. 

Frigga smiled when she saw her boys acting as protective brothers and she felt more at ease. Thomas had been close to destroying Loki all over again but she had luckily prevented it. 

She felt remorse also for she had seen what those two could have been. In another world Thomas would have soothed the rough edges of his younger son and the later would in return inspire and protect the actor, each complimenting the other. 

_Norns, why are you so cruel to my Loki? Hasn't he suffered enough?_ She asked in her thoughts, while putting on a smile and rising to greet the princes of Asgard onto their according places on her left and right hand.

***


	7. Permission to care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to keep you waiting for the updates but I really struggeled with this chapter. Feedback is pure love. :)

Loki struggled for almost a month with his conflicting thoughts and desires. He even considered asking Frigga straight up about the vision she had seen so he could look for more spells or ways to change it. But the truth was that he knew his mother too well and also knew she would do anything in her power to protect him even if it meant in this case keeping him in the dark.

He was taking Sleipnir out for a ride one day and chatting with him when something about Tom accidentally slipped over his lips and he knew that the damage had been done when his son instantly picked up on his tense posture and failed attempt to turn the conversation around. 

The god cursed himself but his son had obviously inherited his curiosity as half an hour later he knew everything about what had happened and was excitedly demanding they go and visit Tom in the alternate Midgard. 

“No! Absolutely not!” Loki argued, crossing his hands over his chest. “I told you what mother said. I shouldn't have gone back in the first place, it was stupid and reckless.”

Sleipnir neighed and nudged him with his giant muzzle. 

“Watch over me?” Loki asked incredulously, staring his son down. “You really want me to disobey mothers orders because you'll go with me?”

Sleipnir neighed again.

“Ah well yes – she didn't mention seeing you in her vision so maybe something has changed... But this is playing with fire my beloved son, you know that. Destinies and fates are serious business.”

 _But he is the only one who makes you happy..._ He translated his son's words in his head.

“Nonsense. You make me happy as well as Thor and the rest of my family. I love all of you.” Loki tried to argue with him.

“Bird in a golden cage.” He repeated his sons words to him and turned away, his shoulders slumping as he had to admit to himself that everything his firstborn was saying was ringing true. Sleipnir knew him too well. 

What was he supposed to do? He loved his family and respected his mother but there was just something about the damn mortal, that pulled Loki towards him and made him forsake all caution. 

“Why do we share the same face? Why did I even meet him? Everything would have been easier...” 

He finally sighed in surrender.

 _“You were used to say extremity was the trier of spirits; that common chances common men could bear; that when the sea was calm all boats alike showed mastership in floating.”_ He recited.

The dialogue from Coriolanus. 

Thomas had been astonishing on that stage. Loki's heart contradicted weirdly when he thought about him so emerged in that role, passionate and inspiring. How different and calm he was in real life. He realized Sleipnir was right. The only time he had lately felt truly alive where the brief moments he had spent with Tom. 

“Mother, forgive me.” He whispered as he turned around and climbed on to Sleipnir's back. 

“Let's go, I will show the way.” He said as he smiled to himself. 

***

It was one of his rare days off. Tom had woken up at his usual early hour to go for the morning run and now that he was back and showered he really had no idea what to do with himself. He was so used to being constantly in motion and busy with work, it felt strange to just sit at his kitchen table and browse his Mac, with no real goal. Kevin Feige had sent him a letter confirming he won't be making even a cameo in the Age of Ultron and he didn't know if the news should have made him feel relieved or sad. It seemed Loki had somehow just disappeared from his life. 

Sometimes he wondered if meeting him in real life had just been a trick of his mind after all but Hadley had luckily mentioned even on the next day how alike he and his “stunt double” looked. And well there were also the thick leather bound books, which were definitely not written in English but once he had started to read them he could understand them all the same. These were stories of times beyond human history's recall. Times when universe was still young and Asgard being built. The language itself was so flowing and excuisite Tom felt grief he couldn't read them in the original language as he felt English really did the original text no justice.

He sipped on his coffee while lost in thsose thoughts and absently stared out the window. The sun was shining and it was unusually warm for the middle of the January in London. Maybe he should go out. Call someone up and try to get the demigod out of his head. Tom had waited for almost a month now for his return but nothing had happened. He clearly wasn't interested in...

He felt a gush of cold air behind his back and he quickly turned around, startling a bit when he saw Loki standing there in his leather armour, figure menacing and tall. 

He carefully placed his cup back on the table and smiled. 

Loki looked calm but weary as he studied his surroundings. 

“Hello there.” Tom smiled as he stood and walked up to Loki. 

“I... I had some business in Midgard.” Loki frowned down at him. “And you mentioned you wanted to know more about my children.” He paused awkwardly now, looking unsure. “So I brought my son to meet you.”

Tom's eyes widened at the prospect of getting to know what Loki's family was really like. Meeting his son. Wow. He wondered who he had bought. At the same time he understood that it was a big deal to Loki as he knew his children generally seemed to be hated or pushed under the rug. Well at least in Norse mythology. 

“That sounds excellent, let me just grab my shoes and I'm ready to go!” Tom beamed back at him, trying to calm Loki down and make sure he understood that while Tom might have been a bit scared – all the descriptions he had ever read about the god's offspring’s had somehow included the word “monster” – he also believed Loki's children couldn't be that bad in real life. Or at least he liked to hope the man wouldn't threaten his life by bringing him up against one of them if they were really dangerous and unpredictable. 

He hastily threw on his shoes and grabbed his phone and keys while Loki proceeded to stand in the middle of his living room and look slightly annoyed. 

“So where are we going? If it's out of London, we can always take the car.” Tom asked, excited. 

Loki smirked. “Don't worry, we don't have the need for a carriage.”

With those words he took a step forward right into Tom's personal space and grabbed his waist. 

“Hold on tight.” The god advised, before the whole world dipped and Tom yelped in surprise because he all of a sudden felt like falling. Everything around them blurred and the next moment when he opened his eyes they were standing in the middle of a desert, with the bright sun blinding his eyes. The world was still spinning though from the sudden stop in movement. 

Tom gasped and instinctively clang ever harder to Loki, who only smirked in response and seemed pleased with himself and Tom's reaction to his mischief. 

“A little warning next time maybe?” Tom gasped, finally letting go of the god.

“Well where's the fun in that?” Loki smugly teased him.

Tom shook his head and spun around to take in the whole view taking an instinctive step back as he spotted the giant horse standing only a few paces behind them. The creature was dark grey and with eight legs, but his eyes looked as intelligent as any humans. 

“Sleipnir?” The actor hesitantly asked and took a measured step forward. 

The horse nodded it's big head in answer and Tom was a little surprised it understood him. 

“Hello there. I'm Tom.” He continued and smiled, Sleipnir leaning down to sniff him before playfully nipping at his hair. 

“Careful there, it may look like hay but can I assure you it's not edible and very much attached to my head.” He joked and the horse neighed but left his hair be for the moment. 

Loki looked again to be annoyed with both of them.

“Well not that I actually asked for your opinion but thank you anyway.” He spoke towards the horse and Tom could have sworn Sleipnir looked smug with himself. 

“What...? What did he say?” The brit wanted to know as he carefully reached out his hand and petted the horse, admiring his beauty. 

The god rolled his eyes before offhandedly waving. “He told me you are all right for a mortal.”

Tom was pleased with the answer and turned to their new companion, bowing a little. “Thank you my price. It's a pleasure to have you both visiting.”

He now looked to Loki. “Can you stay for the day?”

Loki shrugged offhandedly. “I have no further plans and Sleipnir said he wanted to see London so I was thinking, if it's all right by you, you could be our guide?”

A huge smile broke out over Tom's face at the words and he nodded. “Sure!”

After a moment Tom considered Sleipnir with his giant size and eight legs and wondered how exactly this was going to work. He couldn't really figure out a polite way to voice his concerns before the god already stepped forward and wiped his hand, a slight golden glow surrounding the horse for a moment before suddenly in the stallions place stood a young man in his early twenties. 

He was as tall as Loki, a bit wider in the shoulders and he had long dark gray hair wrapped into a braid. He wore jeans with other regular Midgardian clothing and he smiled delightedly as he stretched out his hands and stared at his new body. 

“Wow.” Tom breathed, amazed. 

“He cannot speak in this form.” Loki informed him. “He has voice cords but he doesn't know how to use them.”

Sleipnir stepped forward and took Loki's arm, while the god wrapped his other hand around Tom's waist and he again felt the dizzying feeling of world dipping out from underneath him. 

When he looked around they were standing in his favourite park in London and Sleipnir was almost bouncing with excitement. A few minutes later Loki and Tom took seat on one of the benches while Sleipnir had been pulled into a tag game with a group of young children and a golden retriever. Tom knew without asking that he could obviously speak to the dog somehow as it had come up to them and waggled her tail at Sleipnir like she couldn't wait to play with him. 

Loki had changed his looks too so he now also wore Midgardian clothing and Tom was fairly sure he had somehow nicked that leather jacket, grey t-shirt and those jeans from his wardrobe, only the green scarf seemed to be foreigner. The actor didn't own a lot of articles of clothing and he cherished the ones he did have. He was however forced to admit Loki did look good in them with his dark hair flowing free down over his shoulders, his lean muscles accented by the cut of the jacket and his behind... Well the designer of those jeans had obviously known what he was doing. 

“It's really warm today for January...” The actor couldn't help but to wonder aloud to distract himself from analysing Loki's looks and sent the god a suspicious glance.

“I may have had something to do with it,” the Æsir admitted, looking smug and adding “I also looked up a spell so to anybody else besides you two I seem to be wearing another face, that way we can avoid unnecessary questions while in the public.”

Tom had to admit he was impressed with how thoroughly Loki had prepared for this supposedly random visit. 

The dog barked and drew their attention for a moment so they amusedly watched as she and Sleipnir rolled on the frozen ground fighting over a stick like it was the greatest thing in the world. 

“I'm sorry to pry but how did you changed him into a human? All the stories I've heard – they always describe him as a horse.” Tom wondered out loud.

Loki looked troubled. 

“It's because he is not allowed to have this form. It is forbidden in Asgard and in all the other realms by Odin's Royal Council ever since he was born. They think it's... unnatural.”

Loki seemed somehow hurt, angry and disgusted at the same time and Tom felt bad for bringing up an obviously delicate subject. 

“Well I think it is terrible what your family has put you through with your children, it's clear to me you love them and would do anything for them.”

“There is a prophecy.” Loki sighed. “An old one made by the Norns themselves about how me and my children will bring about Ragnarök – the end of the world.”

Tom reached out and put his hand on the other man's shoulder, not really knowing what to say. The fact that he didn't believe in prophecies made them no less valid in Loki's world. Neither did he know how to tell the god about the good he saw in him, how he believed that despite all his faults Loki wasn't evil or destructive just for the sake of it. 

He had made mistakes, yes. But Tom also knew why he had made them, about the blind hate and anguish that had overtook him after finding out he had been lied to for his whole life. Loki was a delicate creature and he craved the feeling of belonging and being cherished, Odin had ripped that away from him, leaving him vulnerable for Thanos to use. If only somebody had told the trickster he loved him and hugged him before it all went bad... Tom had caught himself thinking these types of thoughts before, as he had always felt so alone and aching while in Loki's head space for the role. 

The raven haired man's shoulders slumped a bit as he let himself relax under the actors splayed fingers.

“I didn't mean anything bad by it, I just... I wanted him to feel more at home. To fit in...” He trailed off and frowned. “I created the spell and rushed to Odin to show him but instead of being happy he looked horrified and seemed to think this would only help with my son choosing a destructive path and becoming evil. So instead of helping him I had only made matters worse. The Council gathered that same evening and they all agreed along with my parents that I should be forbidden from transforming him ever again.”

Tom's eyes traced to where the seemingly careless young man was playing catch with a golden retriever and soundlessly laughing while the children chased them and he couldn't have seemed more harmless. It was hard to imagine someone as powerful as Odin afraid of him. Fear of the unknown was a curious thing.

It seemed like a damn had finally broken inside the frost giant as he kept speaking, sending small glances towards Tom and obviously gauging his reaction.

“You need to understand that I do cherish him in his natural for as well, it's just that... He's a prince of Asgard and he should be treated as one but instead he lives like a soldier serving my father, he knows no life outside of the stables or where he takes him. Sometimes, like today, I sneak away with him and give him this body and he can enjoy different things like human food and I taught him how to dance and fight.” 

Loki suddenly stopped and took a deep breath like he had surprised even himself with how much he had just trusted the mortal with. 

“Nobody must know about this.” He now hissed and turned to stare at Tom trying to obviously scare him. 

“It's okay.” The other solemnly nodded. “Your secret is safe with me.”

The god stared at him for a moment before relaxing. 

“You are an intolerable creature, Tom Hiddleston.” He finally huffed.

Tom burst out into laughter at the words and fondly smiled at Loki pouting and scowling at him. 

“Well I have to admit spending a day in the park with the god of mischief isn't my usual routine so excuse me for getting a little excited.”

Loki's lips twitched a bit at the comment and he was now looking at Tom with with a strange glint in his dark green eyes.

Tom, who was usually a very confident person suddenly felt himself blushing and wanting to fidget. There was something in Loki – this rawness and ancient power that made him incredibly compelling. 

They stared at each other seemingly unable to look away just feeling for a moment like there was something there between them. Something that neither of them could really give a name to but what surely made the two opposite ends of the spectrum gravitate towards each other. 

Tom was struggling with words. _Oh god,_ he thought, he was an actor and was supposed to be good at expressing his emotions. 

“I'm glad you came.” Was all he could finally muster but he hoped the sincerity of those words came through. 

Loki looked for a moment like he was about to go on the defence but then he just licked his lips and turned his eyes away.

“This is quite pleasant.” He seemingly nonchalantly shrugged.

Sleipnir chose that moment to jog back to them taking Loki's hand to get his attention and poining towards something. 

Loki and Tom turned in unison to look in that direction and they both smiled when they saw an ice-cream stand. 

“Does he like ice-cream?” Tom asked, curious.

Loki shrugged “I wouldn't really know, he has never been to our Midgard and the other realms have other dishes.” 

Tom feigned outrage at the words.

“Are you saying he's never had ice cream?! Well that's unheard of, we must fix it right away!”

They all ended up with big cups containing a ball of each flavour and since Sleipnir couldn't decide they had gotten him almost all the toppings available. 

The horse in hiding strolled a few steps ahead of them as they walked towards the city centre and Tom enjoyed his own treat while sneaking looks from the corner of his eye at Loki sucking on his spoonful of the cold desert like it was the best thing ever. 

Frost giant. He had to remind himself. No wonder he liked ice cream.

 

They had finished the desert and were enjoying a stroll around the city with Tom pointing out various sights and talking about the history of England when all of a sudden a group of young girls appeared in front of them, seemingly from nowhere. They cut them off from Sleipnir and Loki immediately tensed. 

Tom felt scared. Loki surely had no patience for his fans and he didn't want to see them get harmed because of him. He had thought the sunglasses and his recent change from clean shaved to scruff would be enough but as his luck would have it the three excited girls were pushing one among themselves a bit forward, who asked in a shaky nervous voice. 

“Hi. Are you... Gosh! Are you Tom Hiddleston?”

Tom almost panicked for a moment, seeing a dangerous look in Loki's eyes and Sleipnir uncertainly scanning their surrounding. The girls had cameras in their hands and this whole thing could escalate and draw them public attention and ruin his incognito day with his guests. He hated lying but this was for the best of everyone he said to himself as he put on his best indifferent face and responded in an american accent. 

“I hear that a lot but sorry, I'm not him.”

The girls now looked confused and doubtful until Loki slipped his hand around Tom's waist possessively and answered in a perfect brooklyn drawl: “My boyfriend does look good enough to eat but he's no famous actor. Sorry to disappoint you.”

The girls mumbled their apologies and scattered away, looking disappointed. 

Once they were again alone Loki looked delighted, god of mischief had obviously enjoyed this little show. 

“They were lucky you are not my lover for real for I had ripped their throats out for the hungry way they were looking at you.” The god casually noted as they caught up to amused looking Sleipnir who raised a questioning eyebrow at them. 

“The gay part was your fathers idea, not mine.” Tom defended himself to him but he couldn't deny a part of him had enjoyed that brief display of affection as well. Maybe it was because how unguarded and spontaneous Loki seemed to be around him. 

Sleipnir jogged ahead, as he had spotted a carriage with four black horses waiting for tourists and he had somehow acquired carrots to offer to them. 

“Have you ever been with a man?” Loki asked after his son was out of earshot and for a moment Tom just felt like asking how was this relevant to anything but he didn't want to give off the illusion he was conservative or uptight about these kinds of things so he just shrugged.

“I did my share of exploring in college and after that a few times when I was drunk. So yeah. But I am definitely interested in women.”

Loki had those intense eyes again trained on him and Tom felt like crawling out of his skin under their scrutiny. 

Loki just hummed under his breath and Tom didn't dare to push it further. Dealing with the god was like a strange dance and he had already understood it was really easy to step on his toes. 

Loki's spell kept the weather warm until the evening and after Tom had dragged them through all of his favourite museums and given Loki a crash course in Shakespeare they were admiring the London in the sunset. When finally the street lights came on Sleipnir stepped up to Loki and gently touched his shoulder before gesturing down at himself and pulling him in for a tight hug. 

“Already?” Loki asked, obviously a bit confused but they found a secluded alley near by and the prince waved his hand, giving Sleipnir back his original form.

The horse neighed and tenderly bit the hem of Loki's jacket.

Loki looked really confused and a bit scared for a moment but then he nodded and sighed, to what Sleipnir answered series of soft sounds. Then the stallion bowed his head at Tom and in the next moment he disappeared with a cloud of green smoke. 

“What was that all about?” Tom wanted to know as Loki looked uncertainly back at him.

“He told me to stay here for a week and that he would cover for me back at home.”

Tom considered that for a moment.

“Well, I don't mind, so if it's okay by you then sure, you're always welcome in my place.”

The trickster seemed torn for a moment before he smirked.

“Well I bet it would drive Warriors three and Sif crazy to have me missing for a week so why not. I accept your invitation.”

***


	8. We all have two lives

They had dinner in a small Italian place and Tom found he immensely enjoyed the god's company, he's quick wit and vast knowledge about many different subjects. They talked about literature and Tom's work for hours, both laughing as he described funny pranks and happening on the set. Loki seemed to be relaxed as well as he contributed with a few funny stories of his own. He was just describing how he had turned all of Thor's weapons into candy and Tom could hardly believe what he was hearing trying to imagine the drama when the actor decided to ask something else he had been wondering about for a long time. 

“So how does it work? The magic? I mean – your Seiðr?”

A fond smile crossed the god's lips as he explained.

“It is quite simple, really. Seiðr is energy and those who wield it are more tuned into its movements and know how to manipulate it to their own will.”

Tom didn't know if he should feel amazed or disappointed by the answer. It somehow seemed too easy. 

“So you are saying anyone could do it?” Tom asked to clarify.

Loki shrugged. “Think of it as music – some people are just gifted and others can get to a certain point by working hard but there are also people who will never be able to hold a tune or play an instrument.”

They stayed quiet for a while after that, sipping their wine and looking outside at the busy street. Tom had always loved London and he had a feeling Loki was starting to warm up to it as well. 

“I have my Coriolanus performances during the next week as well, so I hope you don't mind me leaving you for a few hours each night. You are of course always welcome to come and watch if you wish but I'm sure you'll be fine on your own as well.”

Loki idly nodded and eyed a plate that was being set down a few tables over.

“What is that?” He inquired in a tone that Tom supposed he had been taught to use as a prince.

“That is a tiramisu and _you_ are really bad for my cholesterol.” Tom laughed while waiving their waiter over to order them some dessert. 

 

Tom set Loki up in the guest bedroom, which he usually used as a study and the god assured him he would be fine with the accommodation, surprising even himself because Tom's humble little home really did feel cosy in a way that the big Asgardian palace never really had. 

Even though he wanted to deny it and downplay the importance of the other’s invitation to stay over the Aesir had to admit to himself that as he lay in the darkness of the room listening to the actor move about the apartment preparing to turn in for the night he felt really content for the first time after the fall. 

Communicating with Tom was easy and there were no formalities or expectations. He knew what Loki had done but took it all in a stride. Norns, he had met Loki's son today and won the usually suspicious creatures trust in minutes.

And then there was the blinding jealousy he had felt when those girls had approached Tom. 

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._ Loki chided himself. For one fleeting moment in time, he had forgotten who he was and given into the pull. 

_You destroy or hurt everything you touch so stay away from him._ He thought angrily.

The god knew he was a lonely fool but he still couldn't make himself leave so instead he turned his face into the crisp pillow and wished with all his being he was somebody else. 

 

Tom finished throwing his things together for the next days performance so he could head straight to Donmar in the evening and locked the doors wondering if he should go and check on Loki as well. 

“Don't be silly. Of course he's fine.” He muttered to himself as he lay down in his bed and turned off the lamp. 

But the problem was he knew the god too well. _He's god._ All the time spent in his shoes had always left Tom feeling bitter and lonely and he was sure underneath all that charm and hostility Loki was still hurting. The problem was he had no idea how to help him. He supposed the prince agreeing to stay was a small start. 

He sighed and tapped an absent rhythm on the blanket with his fingers. For once in his life he had met a person who really needed a hug, but who obviously resented being cuddled. 

_Maybe I should try,_ he mused, _I'll probably get a blow to the head for it but at least he'd know that I care._

He fell asleep to troubled dreams of Loki falling and not being able to catch him. 

 

Frigga was surprised to hear from Sleipnir that Loki had decided to stay in Jötunheim for a while but Thor backed up his story and she reluctantly accepted it. She knew going to Heimdall for the truth would be to no avail as her son had long since learned to cloak himself from the otherwise all seeing eyes. She guessed she could understand in a way – being held captive and watched closely for years had probably left Loki longing for some privacy and alone time. She just wished there wasn't this nagging feeling in her mothers heart telling her something was wrong. 

 

Tom had been up for a while and already finished his morning run by the time Loki emerged from his room, wearing a green tunic and black pants not unlike the ones Tom had worn during the prison sequence in the Dark World. The god's pale feet were bare and his hair tousled from sleep. 

Tom felt a smile stretch across his lips at the sight, before he introduced the god to the wonderful tradition of coffee drinking and proper English breakfasts. 

They spent the rest of the day sightseeing, London being so big and vast that they hadn't gotten around to Camden or some other wonderful places the day before. Loki was equal parts fascinated and horrified as they went to see the huge Cyberdog shop which carried all sorts of futuristic gear and he stared at the street performers, telling Tom they reminded him of home and that he didn't believe Midgard held that kind of entertainment any more. 

When the evening drew near Tom announced it was time for him to get to Donmar for his makeup and to his surprise, Loki insisted he come with. He had always thought that the god of mischief was easily bored but it seemed there was at least one thing that could captivate him and that was Shakespeare. He hung out with the actor backstage before the performance and his host organised him a front row ticket so he could gauge his interest, but it seemed Loki truly enjoyed the play and was captivated by it throughout the second viewing as well. At the end of the play he again appeared in Tom's wardrobe, this time with no roses but a small box in his hands. 

“I took note of your words the last time.” He said as he handed it over and Tom raised a questioning eyebrow before peering inside and seeing fine crafted cuff links and tiepin. 

“Wow.” He breathed and smiled as he carefully brushed his fingertips over them. “Thank you.”

“As I said – in Asgard we appreciate a talent of an actor and watching the play a second time was ever more fascinating as I could absorb all the nuances. You played the audience as if they were a strings on a lute.”

The actor felt flattered but also a bit shy because it was just the role – Caius Martius demanded presence and Shakespeare had left him a great text to work with.

They had a short argument about weather Loki should teleport them home or not but Tom knew there would be fans waiting for him by the backstage door so he told him to go ahead and meet him in the apartment later. 

 

Loki spent the first hour reading in content, but finally he put the book down and stared out the window – it was dark and cold outside. 

_Damned mortal and his stubbornness,_ he thought with disdain when he realised he was worried about the fool. 

Loki got up and paced the room, turning off the lights to have a better look at the dimly lit street below but there was nothing to see besides the Midgardian vehicles. No sign of Tom.

_How had the man gotten so under his skin in just a few days?_

Trusting someone so quickly and giving himself permission to care about them was unheard of for Loki. But a small part of him knew the answer -- that it had already happened on that very hot day in Australia when Tom had stood up for him in his speech and spoke of him with such delicacy and love. Loki _hadn't let_ the man get under his skin because he was already _there_ , he had been caught up in Loki's life for years and studied him closer than anyone probably ever will. 

Somehow the memories from the day of his attack on New York rose vividly in his mind again and distorted as they were he remembered on clearer moment where he had been fighting the hold with all his life, seeing the battle rage around them and destroy the city below. Still it hadn't been enough and he had been forced to watch his own body dance like a puppet under Chitauri's will. 

He paced the length of the living room, angry, desperate thoughts swirling in his head. He hadn't really noticed how much time had gone by but suddenly he heard keys scratch in the keyhole and Tom opening the door, calling a muffled _I'm back,_ before stepping into the room and without bothering to turn on the lights flopping down on the sofa and sighing. 

Loki stopped in his own path and circled back to him, carefully sitting back next to Tom who was just splayed there with a hand pressed across his eyes. 

“Thomas? Is everything all right?” He tentatively asked. He hadn't seen Tom in such a mood before and he had no idea what to do.

The actor was silent for a moment before explaining. 

“Caius Martius. It's hard to just switch him on and off again so intense every night for a month in a row.”

Loki sat listening and thought about the steep difference between the usually smiling and carefree Thomas and the single minded war machine he portrayed on stage. 

“How do you do it? I mean – how much of you is really him?” He wondered.

“It’s always about, somehow, finding a part of myself that is relevant, and then turning the volume up on that particular part. So, I am all of the characters I’ve ever played, and I am none of them at the same time.” Tom tried to explain, letting the hand fall from his face to peek at Loki and gauge his reaction. 

“So a part of you is _me_?” The god prodded and reached out to touch a few nerve points in the other man's neck. It was an old Asguardian technique developed to help the warriors come down from the high of the battle and by the surprised little moan Tom gave him in response, it must have worked on tense actors as well. 

“Well of course.” Tom said and frowned. “But I mean – I don't _really_ know what it's like to be you. When I played the part I did it based on my own life experience and emotions. And the way I approached it was of course different because of my background and the fact I knew it wasn't permanent – I knew I had a loving family and friends to help me be me again, to be happy again after all of it was over.”

Loki swallowed and they sat in silence for a bit before Tom turned to look at Loki, concerned.  
“What were _you_ doing in the dark all by yourself anyway?”

“Thinking.” Loki admitted and carefully kept his tone neutral as he continued.

“I've never really... I've never really told anyone the whole story about what happened to me. So... If you're.” He stutter to a stop very uncharacteristically for himself and Tom reached out in the small space between them and brushes his fingers over Loki's knuckles gently, not surprised to feel his hands were curled into tight fists. 

The actor knew he was treading a careful line so he kept his voice gentle as he spoke.

“You know there are special people here on Midgard and I bet on your Midgard as well, who can listen to you if you need to speak about some heavy things and who can help you sort through it. And I'm not saying you're crazy, I'm just saying maybe you need some help with getting over the terrible things that have happened in your life.”

Loki seems to turn his words over in his head for a moment before he reluctantly nodded. 

“I know Thomas, I just... I want to talk about it to you too, if you... If you can bare to listen.”

“Oh Loki.” The actor whispered sadly and suddenly he had Loki pulled into his arms and the god was heavy and solid and warm but rigid still for a moment and Tom thought for sure he was going to protest or run. But then Loki went limp like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he miserably confessed somewhere against Tom's neck.

"I am the monster parents tell their children about at night. And I know I will ruin you but I can't make myself leave."

The actor instinctively held him tighter at the words and softly scolded him. “My sweet stubborn Loki. I've unknowingly shared your life for so long, I'm delighted to finally be a conscious participant in it. I want you to be here and I want to hear your story, please stop doubting yourself all the time.”

For a while Loki just lay half on top of Tom and let the words sink in. He felt comfortable just breathing in the dark like this with him and there weren't a lot of people in the world he trusted, but he finally accepted he could trust Tom and the thought made him feel warm in his chest. 

“You know, Caius Martius reminds me of myself a lot...” He begun and he could feel Tom's hands tighten around him minutely. 

The actor let him spoke uninterrupted and only silently cried when Loki described some of the more awful things he had experienced in the hands of the Chitauri. He was sure Loki was still only scratching the surface of what had really happened to him but he spoke of it all in an even and a bit detached voice, sharing the whole story from his happy childhood in the palace to the day he had met Tom in Australia. It was probably edging towards the morning when he finally finished and Tom couldn't suppress a yawn as he was bones tired and warm under the demigod pressed against him. 

“I'm sorry I kept you up.” Loki apologized, his voice hoarse and quiet after hours of talking.

Tom shook his head. 

“Nah, it's all right. I'm really glad that you told me all of this. Thank you.” He was honestly a few minutes away from falling asleep as Loki rose and smiled down at him. 

“Allow me.” He said as he leaned down to pick Tom up in his arms bridal style and the actor let out a very indignant sounding squeak before clinging to his shoulders and just laughing, half embarrassed and half delighted by how easily the god just picked him up and carried him to bed like a small child. 

He felt cared for as Loki tucked him in and chuckled surprised, when he felt his clothes disappear. 

“Well that is a neat trick for sure.” He mumbled sleepily as he snuggled deeper into his pillow.

The god of mischief just smiled in response, fighting the urge to reach out and smooth down Tom's unruly hair, the man did looked adorable when sleepy and Loki felt unexpectedly affectionate. 

“Good night, Thomas.” He sighed, before walking out and closing the door. 

He paced the length of his own room for a few minutes, too wound up still to just fall asleep. He enjoyed the mortal's company but also knew he should just leave him alone. He was a good man and Loki was despite all his repenting still an evil murderer. He didn't deserve for Tom or anybody else for that matter to be kind to him.   
He finally sighed and lay down on the bed, deciding it would be rude if he just up and left. Perhaps one more day and he'll let Tom know he'd be leaving. The god stared at the ceiling, indulging in a light meditation to force his body relax enough to sleep.


End file.
